Today I woke up afraid that the life I found myself in might not be real, is it all too good to be true?
For the past five years that I’ve been living in Australia I have been dating. Online dating, speed dating, getting set-up by friends, dating people from social groups, you name him, and I’ve dated him.
A lot of the dates have been really fun, entertaining and if nothing else a great story to laugh about with my friends.
Most of the dates have been complete failures.
Recently, I met someone who completely broke the mould. He’s one-of-a-kind and completely unexpected. It’s as if everything I had ever wanted was rolled up in to one person in addition to all the things I didn’t even know I wanted.
I’ve never really had someone who was as interested in me as I was in them, who could meet my intensity and match it, even surpass it at times.
I was told I could be too much. I was told I was too picky. I was told a lot of things.
Maybe most of them were/are true, but it seems as though the things that were all the while preventing me from ‘meeting the right person’, have inevitably helped me to meet the best person for me.
It’s a dangerous thing to write this, it could all crumble apart in the next week or month, even hours if I’m feeling especially fatalistic, but I think it’s important to write how I am feeling now, not later when my ‘story’ has been more finalized in my head.
I wanted to write about how I feel, like I’m falling in love with the person I have been waiting for.
We can get caught up in all our losses. It’s our innate negative bias. All the dates that failed, the people who hurt us and the relationships that have failed.
Dating had become a huge burden in my life, a thing of dread, something I put on and off hold depending on how much energy I had.
Before I had even met him, I had decided he probably wouldn’t be a long-term person; he would just be for fun.
15 minutes in to the date, I realized I was wrong.
14 hours in to the date, I knew I really liked him.
Two weeks later, he started staying at my place.
6 weeks on and he’s quickly becoming a significant part of my life.
My company, my confidant and my friend.
No matter what happens, these moments of happiness are important. The feeling of falling in love is something we can’t force – so when we have the luxury of experiencing it, we need to be present.
Over the past six months I was present in my life for all the romances that have fallen apart. I sat with the sadness, the loneliness and the despair … and now I feel I owe it to myself to be present for something I have desired for so long.
For me it’s been love, but for you it might be something else.
Regardless of what is happening in our lives, we need to celebrate the good so when there is bad – maybe it won’t last as long.